Right now, I'm laying down next to my husband in my childhood bedroom in Roosevelt, Utah, and I'm thinking about my life so far. I'm in pain. It's physical. My heart though, is pretty full.
I'm happy to be where I am, I think. Part of me though, is bewildered at how I ended up here; married and areligious, when once, not so long ago, for more than seventeen years of my life, I was described as anti-male, even cynical, and according to one church leader, perhaps even lesbian, and a devoted Mormon.
I have decided it's time to work out what happened, and what better forum to air the most intimate details of my life than a public one, eh? This makes me nervous, but I'm going to buck up. Maybe somebody somewhere will stumble across this and identify with part of it. Maybe my hypothetical future children will want to understand what their mother was thinking at a ripe 22. Maybe I'm just feeling particularly mortal today. Maybe I'm anticipating maybe being cooped up in a small apartment in Texas this summer, maybe recovering from heart surgery.
In any case, this is the beginning of an attempt to tell my life story. I guess I'll start with childhood.
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